


A Choking Gall, and a Preserving Sweet

by HeereandThere



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: F/M, Suppressed Feelings, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 11:43:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16325567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeereandThere/pseuds/HeereandThere
Summary: Jeremy and Christine are finally together and Michael couldn't be happier... Right?





	A Choking Gall, and a Preserving Sweet

**Author's Note:**

> This wound up being incredibly short, but I still wanted to do something small along these lines.

 

 _Alas that love, whose view is muffled still,_  
 _Should, without eyes, see pathways to his will._  
 _Where shall we dine? O me! What fray was here?_  
 _Yet tell me not, for I have heard it all._  
 _Here's much to do with hate, but more with love._  
 _Why then, O brawling love, O loving hate,_  
 _O any thing of nothing first created!_  
 _O heavy lightness, serious vanity,_  
 _Misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms,_  
 _Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health,_  
 _Still-waking sleep that is not what it is._  
 _This love feel I, that feel no love in this._  
-Romeo Montague; "Romeo and Juliet"; Act 1, Scene 1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How are you supposed to feel when your best friend has a girlfriend? Supportive? Bitter? I dunno, since Jeremy's never really had a girlfriend before now, but I always figured I'd be happy for him when he did, especially since he actually managed to win over the girl of his dreams. So, why does everything feel so wrong?

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad for him and Christine; it feels like they were made for each other. But whenever I see them together, holding hands or kissing or doing whatever couples do, I just get this really weird feeling, kind of like someone's pushing down on my chest really, REALLY hard. It hurts without actually hurting, if that makes sense, and it's really more of a mental pain that I can't shake until I'm away from it all.

I'm jealous. I know I am.

I don't want to say it and I definitely don't want to believe it, but I know it's true. I want to fix it SO BADLY, but I can't figure out how to do anything more than swallow the feeling and hope it doesn't come back to bite me in the ass. But it always does, without fail, and I resent the thoughts that come up when I see her face. That smile, that laugh, those weird little noises, those fucking clothes... God, what wouldn't I give to have my shot with Christine?

My friendship with Jeremy, that's what. Broshies before hoshies.

But... she's not a hoshie! She's so much different from the other girls I've seen; she's smart, quirky, and adorable without even trying, and Jeremy's the one of us to finally get her to notice him. To be fair, though, I never even really tried; I saw that gleam in my player 1's eye when he first saw her, and I knew trying to make her my own was the worst possible thing I could ever do to him.

Now, here I am, stuck watching them be in love or whatever.

Just keep thinking that it wasn't meant to be. They're happy! You should be, too. Stop being so... so pitiful.

Stop. No self-pity.

All I need to do is ignore it and be happy! I'm happy! I'm fine because they're fine! I'm into Christine, but I don't have to be; it's just a stupid highschool crush and it'll all go away.

I mean, I hope.

Because I dunno what'll happen if it doesn't.


End file.
